Riding a children's bike to get free stuff
I have completely humiliated myself.
Today my neighbor, Michelle called. She invited me to look through some hand-me-downs. Michelle is an avid shopper and her hand-me-downs are AWESOME!! I said I'd be there in a few minutes and off I went...
I stepped into my garage. There sat my favorite mini-van and some bikes. Michelle does not live too far away, so I could've just walked, but I was in a hurry. I couldn't bring myself to use expensive gas on a trip down the street, so I opted for a bike.
I looked over the assortment of bikes. All the bikes that fit me had flat tires, so I chose my son's bike. "It's just for two minutes," I thought. No one will notice.
I hopped on his little bike and rode down the street. I guess it's that whole thing of how we still feel young in our brains, even when we get old. It wasn't until I had turned the corner out of my cul-de-sac that it occurred to me how utterly ridiculous I looked. Luckily I didn't run into any neighbors so I felt okay about my decision to take the bike. I left the bike at Michelle's house and went inside.
Boy did I get some great stuff! So much stuff that I needed a big, black garbage sack to put it all in. I thanked Michelle and walked out to my bike. Hmmm... the bike was small to begin with, how was I going to get this heavy garbage bag home and ride a too-small-for-me bike at the same time?
Yes, I know that any normal person would've rode the bike home and come back for the stuff later. (Actually, a normal person would've walked or drove.) I don't like to waste time, though, so I hopped on the bike and put the black garbage bag on the bike, resting between my legs. I held the bag up by the handlebars so I could still use my brakes. I proceeded to ride, but the bag kept falling down and in order to keep it on the bike, I had to pedal with my legs spread apart and my knees bobbling out the side.
I looked like a total idiot! Never mind the fact that this 34-year-old woman is riding a kids' bike down the street, but now I've got a trash bag between my knees!
I had a really hard time maneuvering the bike. I couldn't turn easily and I had to go slow for fear that the garbage bag would get caught in the spokes. Going slow made me tip over here and there. I just prayed the whole way home that none of my neighbors would see me. As I said, "Amen," I turned the corner and my neighbor, Mark, was standing there with his son.
"What are you doing?" Mark asked. My face turned red and I fumbled through an explanation of my plight. He started to laugh. Even his son stood there scratching his head. The only thing I could say was, "At least I'm secure enough with myself to ride around the neighborhood on a kids' bike, right?"
I was DYING! I had opted for riding on the sidewalk because I thought that under the circumstance I may be safer and more obscure that way. That certainly didn't help my don't-look-like-an-idiot cause.
As I continued my trek home, I looked straight ahead and thought, "I think I can, I think I can," trying to distract myself. The song that kept popping in my head was the one from the Wizard of Oz when the Dorothy is in the tornado and she sees the old witch riding her bike out the window. (I would sing it, but there are no words. "Dun-da, dun-da, dun da...")
I was almost home when I heard a gigantic truck coming up behind me. I looked to the side, hoping that as they passed they would not recognize me. "Keep on driving," I thought to myself. I heard the truck going slower and slower and then it was right next to me. I figured I better look over. I did, and saw some other neighbors, Steve and Amy, in their very cool, black truck. They had rolled down the window and were peering out at me. "Hi!" Steve said.
"KILL ME NOW!!" I thought. I stopped the bike and told them I had a really funny story to go along with this. Unfortunately I didn't get to tell my story because they had someone following them and had to go. Totally humiliated, I put the bike and garbage bag down on the corner and walked the rest of the way home.
I just want to remind everyone to save some gas money and humiliate themselves instead. It's really fun!
Today my neighbor, Michelle called. She invited me to look through some hand-me-downs. Michelle is an avid shopper and her hand-me-downs are AWESOME!! I said I'd be there in a few minutes and off I went...
I stepped into my garage. There sat my favorite mini-van and some bikes. Michelle does not live too far away, so I could've just walked, but I was in a hurry. I couldn't bring myself to use expensive gas on a trip down the street, so I opted for a bike.
I looked over the assortment of bikes. All the bikes that fit me had flat tires, so I chose my son's bike. "It's just for two minutes," I thought. No one will notice.
I hopped on his little bike and rode down the street. I guess it's that whole thing of how we still feel young in our brains, even when we get old. It wasn't until I had turned the corner out of my cul-de-sac that it occurred to me how utterly ridiculous I looked. Luckily I didn't run into any neighbors so I felt okay about my decision to take the bike. I left the bike at Michelle's house and went inside.
Boy did I get some great stuff! So much stuff that I needed a big, black garbage sack to put it all in. I thanked Michelle and walked out to my bike. Hmmm... the bike was small to begin with, how was I going to get this heavy garbage bag home and ride a too-small-for-me bike at the same time?
Yes, I know that any normal person would've rode the bike home and come back for the stuff later. (Actually, a normal person would've walked or drove.) I don't like to waste time, though, so I hopped on the bike and put the black garbage bag on the bike, resting between my legs. I held the bag up by the handlebars so I could still use my brakes. I proceeded to ride, but the bag kept falling down and in order to keep it on the bike, I had to pedal with my legs spread apart and my knees bobbling out the side.
I looked like a total idiot! Never mind the fact that this 34-year-old woman is riding a kids' bike down the street, but now I've got a trash bag between my knees!
I had a really hard time maneuvering the bike. I couldn't turn easily and I had to go slow for fear that the garbage bag would get caught in the spokes. Going slow made me tip over here and there. I just prayed the whole way home that none of my neighbors would see me. As I said, "Amen," I turned the corner and my neighbor, Mark, was standing there with his son.
"What are you doing?" Mark asked. My face turned red and I fumbled through an explanation of my plight. He started to laugh. Even his son stood there scratching his head. The only thing I could say was, "At least I'm secure enough with myself to ride around the neighborhood on a kids' bike, right?"
I was DYING! I had opted for riding on the sidewalk because I thought that under the circumstance I may be safer and more obscure that way. That certainly didn't help my don't-look-like-an-idiot cause.
As I continued my trek home, I looked straight ahead and thought, "I think I can, I think I can," trying to distract myself. The song that kept popping in my head was the one from the Wizard of Oz when the Dorothy is in the tornado and she sees the old witch riding her bike out the window. (I would sing it, but there are no words. "Dun-da, dun-da, dun da...")
I was almost home when I heard a gigantic truck coming up behind me. I looked to the side, hoping that as they passed they would not recognize me. "Keep on driving," I thought to myself. I heard the truck going slower and slower and then it was right next to me. I figured I better look over. I did, and saw some other neighbors, Steve and Amy, in their very cool, black truck. They had rolled down the window and were peering out at me. "Hi!" Steve said.
"KILL ME NOW!!" I thought. I stopped the bike and told them I had a really funny story to go along with this. Unfortunately I didn't get to tell my story because they had someone following them and had to go. Totally humiliated, I put the bike and garbage bag down on the corner and walked the rest of the way home.
I just want to remind everyone to save some gas money and humiliate themselves instead. It's really fun!
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