The Little Figs

My dearest Aubree, You'll never know how emotional your 6th grade promotion was for me. My heart swelled with pride, gratitude and love. When you were in the hospital as a 2 year old, I remember wondering if you would ever make it through elementary school. We didn't know how long we would have you with us. Then there were times that we wondered if you would have the mental capacity to be in a regular school, to be able to read like a normal child. We didn't know if you would ever re-learn how to walk again... to run and climb like a child should. Your determination and motivation proved us wrong time and time again. Although receiving awards for your good grades and citizenship were awesome and impressive, I think my most proud moment was when you received the National Physical Fitness award. I wanted to give you a standing ovation. I wanted to yell and cheer and tell all the parents around me how hard that was for you to accomplish. Instead I sat there quietly w...

This past Sunday I taught the Relief Society lesson at church. My lesson was from Elder Renlund's talk at General Conference. http://http//www.lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1117-31,00.html We talked about working to keep our hearts from becoming hardened. During the lesson I asked Aubree to play "I am a Child of God" on her violin. I prefaced this with a story from her hospital days. After Aubree was diagnosed with a brain tumor, and had gone through her second brain surgery, she had lost the ability to walk or even sit up. She was 2, and would lay in her hospital bed and often sing, "I am a Child of God." "I am a Child of God, and He has sent me here, Has given me an earthly home, with parents kind and dear. Lead me, guide me, walk beside me, Help me find the way. Teach me all that I must do, to live with Him someday." That song forever reminds me that sometimes we have trials to help us keep our hearts softened. It is our choi...

My Mom used to make clown lunches for us when we were kids. I think it's a fun way to clean out the fridge, quite honestly. This was Caleb's clown lunch the other day: Cottage cheese for the hair, carrots for the eyes, apple slices for the mouth, and a blueberry muffin for the nose. Basically, we turn anything into a face. For some reason, my kids seem to have a greater motivation to eat when they are chewing up someone's nose or other facial parts. Yes, it is kind of weird, too.

I think even when they are 33 and 35, my two youngest boys will still be called, "the little boys." Tyler is the big boy, and he and Aubree are only 20 months apart. Because of the four year gap between "the oldest two" and "the little boys," our family has been subdivided a little. It works out well for "the oldest two," when we decide to take them on a trip to Washington D.C. or something. (The little boys will get their turn in five years or so.) So this last week at church, I felt like my little boys were a bit out of control. They are best buds, and enjoy each other immensely, but sometimes they can be rambunctious and irreverent. (I always have wondered if one of them had been a girl, how that would've calmed things down.) I would like to share a list of the things that have happened in Sacrament Meeting over the past month or so. These boys are now 8 and 6: 1. Upon finding a Spanish hymn book, my little boys proceed to point out ...

I think it is good to be reflective and figure out the things we learn in life. Although these are somewhat personal, I thought I'd share my "list" of the things I learned during 2009. 1. You can't change people. This is one of the greatest lessons I learned this year. For some reason I thought I could give people feedback or do things to make them change. I FINALLY learned that the only person I can ever change is me. 2. Money and things do not buy happiness. I tried to remodel my home during a period of emotional strife. I was looking for happiness. Although I love my new paint, carpet, etc., I realized how truly empty that stuff is. It did not make me any happier. Happiness comes from within. 3. Having a good renter is worth it's weight in gold. Sheesh! Maybe I should re-word that -- Having a renter that actually pays rent, doesn't sublease your house to drug dealers, and doesn't have dogs that tear up your house and yard... is awesome! 4. There...

Today I sit in a hospital room. I've been up since 4:50 a.m. so that I could lend emotional support to my husband who had surgery today. I will spare the sordid details of his surgery here. Anyway, it took four hours for the surgery and he was in the hospital for two days. During this time I happened to be reading "The Last Lecture," by Randy Pausch. Bad timing. Reading a book about a man dying from cancer and the things he learned from life is amazing, but scary when your husband is in the hospital. I hate hospitals. I see and smell things that many people probably don't think twice about. I'm sure it is my trauma response from years of going through surgeries with Aubree. Staying at Primary Children's for weeks has created emotional responses to things that spark memories of that hard, scary time. Did you know anesthesia has a smell? Seriously, I can smell the same smell when people come out of anesthesia, no matter who the person is. It makes me want ...

On Christmas Eve day I decided to undertake a task that was a risky play. I decided to purchase my husband a snow blower for Christmas. "Are you crazy?" you may be asking. Well, yes, yes I am crazy, so now that we have that out of the way, let me tell you how I made the decision which snow blower to purchase. First of all, our old snow blower has not worked for over three years. Last year Matt took it to the repair shop and was told it was a $200 repair. Not good for a snow blower that is only worth $300. Secondly, it is a wimpy little thing. If we get more than a few inches, it would be pretty worthless. (It is especially worthless when it is sitting in the garage, not able to run.) Poor Matt... every winter his back seems to go out. I can't decide if it is the cold weather, or because basketball season starts and he thinks he is 17 again and then injures it. Probably the latter. Anyway, this man really needs a snow blower because shoveling is about the worst thing you c...