The Little Figs

If you are ever thinking that it would be cheaper to drive to the furniture store and pick up your new furniture to save the $60 delivery fee, keep in mind that if you get a speeding ticket on the way to the store that costs $80, it would've been cheaper to just pay the delivery fee. Also, as you leave the furniture store and drive back down the same road you got the speeding ticket on, and see the same cop pulling someone else over, you may get a dirty look from the cop if you give a little toot on the horn and wave as you pass him.

Lessons I learned today... 1. Trying to cut your doll's hair, as a young child, does not properly prepare you for cutting your 13-year-old son's hair. Cleaning hair out of the bathtub is a royal pain. Trying to do a Zach Efron haircut when you've never even watched "High School Musical," or, for that matter, ever been to beauty school, is a very bad idea. 2. The caulking gun is not like a cake decorating kit. Caulk should have a very thin edge, not a big, thick edge, like when you apply butter cream frosting to a cake. Mental note to self -- caulk is NOT frosting and should not be applied as such. Caulk does not wash off hands as easily as frosting, either.

The other night we pulled into the Wendy's drive-through after a piano recital... Matt gave our order -- 2 chicken nuggets, 3 junior bacon cheeseburger -- ketchup only, 4 junior cheeseburgers -- ketchup only, 2 junior hamburgers -- ketchup and mustard only, and 2 value french fries. As you can see, much of this order is specialty made. As we pulled around to the drive-up window, Matt turned to me and said, "Money?" I said, "None. I didn't bring my purse." He quickly felt in his pocket, hoping a wallet would be there, but alas, he forgot his wallet. We both started scrounging for change. (Like that would cover our $15 order!) Finally Matt turned to the lady at the window and said, "Can you just cancel our order, please? We didn't bring any money." We drove away feeling sheepish.

Well, today was the day. It was the 5th grade maturation program. I have fond memories of attending with Tyler two years ago -- I even learned a thing or two. Aubree gave me the speech beforehand about how she didn't want me to raise my hand and ask any embarrassing questions. She didn't even want me scratching my nose, in case the speaker thought I had a question. I complied. I remember my elementary school maturation program. I remember giving my mom the same speech. I also remembering saying at the end of the program, "They have brownies? How are we supposed to have an appetite to eat brownies after this thing?" Ha ha! Ah, growing up is hard to do. That's for sure!

Today at church I was standing outside a Primary class. A 6-year-old boy saw Matt walking down the hall and hollered, "Hey! I saw you on T.V." I asked him where he saw Matt on T.V. and he said, "On Mrs. Poppins." "Do you mean Mary Poppins?" I asked. Then I asked him if he was the guy who was dancing around like a penguin. "Yeah, that was him," the boy excitedly replied. Matt rolled his eyes and said, "Oh great, I'm Dick Van Dyke." I can see a bit of a resemblance. All I can say is, "It's a jolly holiday with you, Matt..."

Can you spell lame? I can... M-A-T-T-A-N-D-A-I-M-E-E. (Oh, I'm so relieved... Aubree just walked into the room while I am writing this and said, "You guys aren't lame. Just sometimes you do wacky, nervy stuff." I guess that says it all when my 11 year old feels that way.) I will totally admit it. We are lame parents, in more ways than one. Let's just say that our family's toothfairy is very forgetful. Many, many times my children have excitedly put a newly lost tooth under their pillow. Many, many times they have woken up in the morning with nothing under their pillow except their tooth. At first they would come upstairs, so bummed, and we would say, "Oh, let's look again." Then magically the two quarters would be there under the pillow. (Yes, our toothfairy is cheap, too.) After the monotony of this situation wore on, the kids started coming upstairs and saying things like, "The toothfairy forgot again." We would reply, "Tha...

If any of you were driving down the street this morning, you may have seen me. I was the messy-haired woman in pajamas, slippers on my feet, standing in the road. Yes, that was me, waving the blue viola case wildly to try to get the bus driver to stop the bus. You see, I am a mother, and my daughter needed that viola for orchestra this morning. I guess being a mother makes us do things like run down the street in PJ's, wear slippers in the snow, and stop the bus while several cars sit behind it, waiting. LUCKILY, the nice bus driver put out the "stop" sign and motioned for me to go ahead and cross the street while he waited. Although my slippers are a little big and don't stay on my feet super well, I tried to take large strides to clear the road so those three cars sitting behind the bus could get to work. I especially liked it when they slowed down to watch me walk, with my floppy slippers, up the driveway. It was super lucky that I had my "floody"...